Monday, March 26, 2007

How Is This Not Funny?

Stewart Laidlaw who will cringe for the rest of his life every time he does a Google search to see what his name turns up, was barred from a pub in Scotland for farting too much. Apparently since the smoking ban in Scotland took effect, people in the pub were noticing that this guy was stinking up the place; clearing rooms. No one noticed it before or at least no one was able to pin it on him.

Says Laidlaw, "I never used to complain about the smell of their cigarette smoke, but now everyone complains about me. It's just a natural thing. What can I do about it? I must be the first person in the country to get banned from a pub for passing wind. But it's not a title I want. I certainly don't see it as funny."

Come on! How is that NOT funny? He got kicked out of a bar for farting! Stewart! Dude! Capitalize on this. Bottle your scent and sell it as a novelty or something. That picture of you is perfect for the label; it looks like you're letting out a stinker. Write a book on flatulence, you'll make some good money. Then take that money and move to another country and change your name where you will not be recognized for being "the smelly guy who got kicked out of the pub."

Let's all raise a glass cheek to Stewart Laidlaw and his odoriferous orifice!